IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample 92 - Sense of competition in children should be encouraged
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IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay:
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should write at least 250 words.
Model Answer 1:
Nowadays, the purpose of education has changed in Korea. There are some People who think that competition in children should be made, also others believe that children who are taught to co-operate as well as become more useful adults. There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguments.
To begin with, what is good if a sense of competition m children is made? They could develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win the competition. To prove this, in Korea, it is popular - even common now - to have a tutor who comes to student's house to teach extra pieces of study with paying a lot of money. They learn faster than what they learn at school. Furthermore, during the vacations, students study abroad to learn English for a month instead of revise school work. If they have experiments such as study abroad, it is one of the greatest plus points to go to the famous well-known high-school. Moreover, there are four big school exam and two national examinations to test students' level of studies. Generally, only the highest 40% can go to the good quaternary high schools and colleges. Children learn as much as they can, to win the competition to obtain good quality schools.
On the other hand, as they are busy to enter the schools and study individually with their own tutors, there are problems. They become selfish. They become careless and don't help others a lot if it is about studies. There will be no co-operations for them. Then, why are there companies for many people to work in? Each of them is clever, however, there are weak parts and strong parts for each person. To co-operate is to improve this part. People talk and listen to what others thinking of and learn. That could also be a great opportunity to learn instead of learning alone with one teacher.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete. Nobody is perfect. People learn together, work together to develop each other. Therefore, I want parents and teachers to educate children concentrating on co-operation, not compete and ranking them.
Model Answer 2:
There is too much debate about whether children should be learned to be more competitive or cooperative members of society. In my opinion, both behaviours are important and cooperation is more important than competition.
On one hand, as we live in the very competitive society, we need to teach our children the sense of competition in a positive way. The most obvious advantage to encourage competition among children is that it makes them more creative and open minded and opens the doors for better future opportunities for them. For illustration, children work hard in the study because they compete with other classmates to receive high marks, this will help them to get a very good job in the future. Moreover, they become more independent and rely on themselves because they know that nobody else will be there to do their duties.
On the other hand, I believe that cooperation is mandatory to be encouraged for many reasons. Firstly, cooperation helps children to learn from each other. For example, when I was at school team, I learned how to play table tennis with my friends and we learn a lot of skills from each other and when we play in the final round with other school teams, we get a very good score in the final. Secondly, cooperation teaches children the skills linked to sharing, as a result, they become a kind member of society. Finally, cooperation is the key component for better personality as well as prevent from individuality.
To sum up, both cooperation and competition have their own advantages. However, I tend to think that cooperation should be encouraged more in children.
[ by - Lubna Makawi ]
Model Answer 3:
There are various views of people on upbringing their children. Talking about competition, some say that it must be inculcated in children while some argue cooperation plays a better role. In this essay, both these contrasting views will be discussed and a conclusion will be made.
Those who believe that competition is necessary to present the following arguments. Firstly, competition motivates the children and encourages them to do better rewarding the one who stands at the top. Secondly, healthy competition maintains excitement and zeal in learning. Otherwise, children may find the session too boring. Thirdly, these are places where competition is of utmost necessity. For example, in sports, it is always necessary to come to a conclusion of who wins and who loses. According to the opinions given by this group of people, positive competition among children is more beneficial.
On the other hand, some highlight the negative impacts that competition might bring and so choose to inculcate cooperation in their kids. According to them, when kids compete, they might use alternative ways for winning like cheating. Sometimes, they might be highly de-motivated if they are constantly losing despite persistent efforts. In contrast, by working or learning cooperatively in groups, children learn attributes as respect, exchange of help, tolerance etc. They also opine that the lessons learned in childhood lasts for the entire life and the children who always compete would do so for the rest of their lives and this would include both the positive and negative competitions.
Thus, in accordance with my view, both cooperation and competition are essential for children in their own place. The guardians have to choose one appropriately according to the situation and context in order to ensure their kids learn correct moral values and ethics.
[ by - Rupak Neupane]
Model Answer 4:
In our society, many people believe that competition is a vital component in establishing a positive personality and behaviour. Parents for instance, always say that life is a constant battle and in order to become successful, training children to become competitive in the early stage of their lives will be helpful. However, some argue that competition is not that beneficial and might cause negative behaviours to children. In this essay, I will closely examine both views, and would state my own opinion regarding the matter.
On the first side of the argument, people argue that competition is advantageous. In their point of view, structuring an environment under a context of competition will be challenging and will establish the need to strive and work harder to attain a particular goal that many aims. Therefore, competition enhances motivation and gives a sense of fulfilment. For instance, children in nursery schools join different contests and compete with other children. They try to do their best and maximises their resources to win the competition because of the reward that they may get from their parents or teachers.
On the other hand, some people believe that the drawbacks outweigh the positive effects of competition and teaching the child to cooperate are better. They explain that cooperation allows children a chance to understand and adjust to the needs of other children, hence, training them to become more sensitive individuals in the future. For example, in our home, I have never felt that my mum encouraged competition between me and my younger sister. She always says that each has her own unique talents and skills that should be enhanced and be shared to one another. Hence, every time that we need to do some task, we would rather help one another than to compete.
In summary, establishing a competitive and cooperative environment has its own merits. However, in my opinion, teaching children to cooperate is more beneficial in honing a mature and useful individual.
[ by - Karen Kate]
Model Answer 5:
In today's modern world, most of the people around the globe lead a competitive lifestyle as they need to secure a decent job with a high payment. Therefore, there are a handful of people who assert that there should be competition among the children so that they will reach their goals in the future. However, some people are of the opinion that children should be taught to co-operate as they have higher tendency to become a useful citizen once they know about cooperation. Hence, it is important for us to examine both sides of the views before reaching a reasonable conclusion.
Admittedly, if there is a sense of competition among the children, they are stimulated to work harder when acquiring knowledge in school. It is, possibly, due to the reason that they want to score better in examination than their classmates. With the existence of competition among children, they are highly likely to perform well in school as they will always compare their academic progressions with others. To illustrate, during a quiz or a test, the children will probably try harder to solve the questions as they love the feeling of being praised by their teachers and friends. Thus, with the existence of competition among children, they will have more momentum in studying and achieving success.
On the other hand, it is believed that children who know how to co-operate with others will attain success and contribute more to the society. In school, if the teachers teach them about the moral value of cooperation, it will further encourage them to have good teamwork between children learn how to respect others' opinions. It, indirectly, helps them to develop the crucial interpersonal skills which play an indispensable role in their studies and prospective jobs. Hence, any misunderstanding can be avoided among the child which is the key to achieving their aspirations both in their studies and their works.
In conclusion, I believe that both the competition and cooperation should exist among the children as each of them helps the young children to become a more knowledgeable and useful individual who can contribute endlessly to the society. As a consequence, our nation will surely continue to prosper and flourish in the decades to come.
[ by - Lee Wing Qeen]
Model Answer 6:
Some individuals believe that it is necessarily important to motivate children to be more competitive to perform better. Yet, it seems to others that children, who are supplied (exposed) by the spirit of group-working, will be able to be more useful people in their life later than those who presume that competition is a priority. This essay will discuss both of these opinions through the following paragraphs.
First, citizens may think that the more competition someone faces, the faster the growth of his or her cognitive values would be. This idea can be a better consideration to boost and to explore people’s hemisphere to be more innovative in their lifetime as they are encouraged to be the first and have a passion for defeating other's idea. Being the best student in class, for instance, is one of the real examples. Students, who always get the first place, will try to maintain their position by expanding their competitiveness through study harder than others.
However, living in the real community, besides competitiveness, people are also required to be cooperative as their faith as social creatures that have to engage or be involved with other people to achieve a goal. Individuals, who can be a good cooperative people, are those who have been trained to do a team-work, moreover since their childhood rather than those who always competitive. My uncle, Rian, is a real figure. He is always involved in a community work and acts collaboratively with others because he used to do that since he was a little child and as the result, their goals are mostly achieved easier.
Someone who always excels in education and jobs is not necessarily a person with competitive mentality. Helpfulness and sharing with other expand the knowledge we gather. It is a good human quality to help other rather than competing. Children who are learned to share, often become better persons that those who always compete.
All in all, being competitive is considerably important to enhance knowledge, yet the communal life needs cooperative people as well. Thus, individuals are cordially suggested to balance both competitiveness and cooperativeness.
[ by - Linda]
I would be grateful if anyone could give me a rough score, and point out some of the more obnoxious mistakes.
After reviewing my own essay, I'd say the main problems are:
- Repeating "competition" and "cooperation" way too often;
- Examples are too short and generalised;
- Doesn't focus enough on examples from industry or government, since those are the more explicitly emphasised fields;
- The points are too discrete, while ideally they must smoothly flow from one another;
- The introduction does not give an overview of the essay (admittedly, it's annoying that you need to mull over the main ideas twice in such a short essay).
The best way for society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
A society focused on cooperation may appear more humane and benign than one based on competition. Yet this appeal becomes more elusive once we account for the more counter-intuitive boons of a society that stresses healthy competition, a society that does not stigmatise the natural human thirst for supremacy.
Competition does not preclude a measure of cooperation. In fact, it is hard to imagine an individual who can succeed in competitive fields without enlisting assistance from others, without negotiating compromises, or without building sturdy teams. Competition fosters an efficient brand of cooperation that springs out of virile and cunning self-interest. Such cooperation is far less dependent on in-group sympathy, and can help bridge major ideological differences.
Next, the most straightforward path to learning lies through mistakes. Focusing on cooperation to the detriment of competition may lead to overly lax punishment, so young people will not be prepared to face the consequences of lapsed judgement. In effect, societies that adopt the cooperative strategy first may be undermined by less humane societies that will remain competitive. People who expect everyone to be forthright and helpful may prove too easy to exploit for machiavellian psychopaths.
Finally, such a clear-cut dichotomy of cooperation and competition may be needlessly facile. There are shades of cooperation. Cultivating a healthy sense of rivalry is different from producing misanthropic leaders who only wish to stamp their fellow man into the mud. Indeed, competition should provoke a burning desire to improve yourself to defeat your competitors in a fair battle instead of endlessly engaging in zero-sum, beggar-thy-neighbour schemes. Sprinters should outrun their opponents, not hack them to death.
In conclusion, gearing new generations towards competition may be suboptimal for an ideal version of the human race, but this approach remains much more realistic. Competition does not eliminate cooperation altogether, merely emphasising material rather than moral incentives. Overstressing cooperation can lead to an inefficient approach to learning, as it will reduce feedback, glossing over negative consequences. Still, we must strive for this competitiveness to remain fair and reasonable.